2014: Transitions and Gratitude

                       

This year was rapid moving, adventure filled and life changing. So many transitions, realizations and lessons happened this year and I am grateful for each one...even the most painful. In Chinese Astrology, the year of the horse began back in February, which was when everything went full force, just like a wild mustang running, mane everywhere, nostrils flared. 

For years, my spirit animal was a horse. I identified with its energy and symbolism. I raced through life, determined and galloped past anything in my way. My energy was intense, like the color orange. I didn't accept "no" for an answer, was outspoken and successful; but unfulfilled. Then, my heart and soul started to speak louder than my brain and ego and I surrendered to some pretty tough lessons that had been begging to be learned. 

The lessons removed a lot of stored up stress, resentments and pain and I began to feel lighter. I started identifying with birds more, mainly hawks. The power of surrender helped me soar over the painful path I had created and provided insight to who I really am; my authentic self. So, I began to live more intentionally and this is how the year progressed...

-finally went to Costa Rica after dreaming about it for 10 years

-took an intuitive painting class and was given the word "brave" for the year

-hiked the Grand Canyon and let nature blow my mind

-went to Sicily with work friends and sailed on the Mediterranean

-visited Spain and fell in love with Flamenco and Pinxos

-spoke more Spanish (the little I know) than I ever had

-QUIT MY JOB

-went to Bali for a month and learned a lot of lessons through much discomfort

-learned forgivenesss and mended/released relationships

-went to Australia to celebrate 21 years of friendship and meet Baby Fox

-realized that wanderlust doesn't grip my heart as strongly and decided to STAY HOME for a while

-went to school to become a Spiritual Life Coach

-visited Washington DC

-learned to love the snow

-visited the Pacific Northwest a few times

-rode the lovely Amtrack a couple times and fell in love with train travel

-met some lovely people who have made this year sparkle a little bit more

-ran hundreds of miles and changed my body...you really can be fitter in your 30s than your 20s!

-started writing my book

-loved more deeply

-opened my heart 

-accepted my imperfections

-recognized compassion

-changed my vibration

-listened to my intuition

-embraced my authentic self

I can't wait to see what 2015 has in store. I feel like this year created a great spaciousness for growth. Every year, I realize that the path is perfect even with its setbacks. Each lesson is a stepping stone and when I look back, I see a lovely mosaic of different colored stones. My heart is so full of gratitude and love for this year and its transitions.

The Race Inside My Head

                       

Last year, I decided to take up running as exercise after recognizing that life on the road was not helping me stay fit. After turning 30, I noticed my metabolism become slower and slower with each year. Hotel gyms weren't cutting it and I found running to be a great way to achieve goals and get fit. What I didn't realize was that running was a mental sport as well.

I started and stopped after 1 mile, panting with side pains and red in the face. My fitness level wasn't where I thought I was after years of gym memberships and yoga classes. I got myself up to 2 miles but I was still feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere. I wanted results quicker. I wanted my body to perform better and I was getting impatient.

All of a sudden, I started meeting new friends who ran. We didn't meet because of running, but it was a coincidence that they liked to run as well. But these people ran races and marathons on a regular basis and I felt so insecure about my running abilities and felt like my 2 mile milestone was a joke. But, there was one gal who was the most encouraging and she got me thinking about it in a whole new way.

I had to overcome my mind telling me I couldn't go any further. She invited me to run "I'm only doing 3-5 miles today." I cringed thinking I would die at mile 3. I told her how slow I was and how I had not run very far before, but she just kept encouraging me. So, this year, I made a goal to run 20 miles a month. I was out of the country a lot this year and there were several weeks and even a whole month when I didn't run a mile. But today, I hit my goal and I ran the farthest, fastest and longest time ever. I text my friend to let her know. She replied "How did it feel?...I love milestone running." It felt amazing. I coulnd't believe I just ran that far and for that long. I didn't even think about it while I was doing it, I just ran. And today, I finally felt like a runner. 

After an entire year I realized that my mind is stronger and my lungs and legs are toned for endurance. There is a lesson in all of this of course and for me it is that I am strong enough to overcome obstacles, especially when I am the obstacle. All my thoughts of "I can't keep going, I'm not fast enough, I'll die after mile # ___" were just me defeating me. When I changed the belief into something empowering and began believing the new empowered thought, I lapped my brain with positivity, strength and perseverance. 

Snow Angel

                                     

My travel buddy and dear friend just returned back from being out in the world. We haven't seen each other since Bali and decided to take a road trip up to Lake Tahoe to spend a couple days and hopefully experience some snow. Earlier this year, I set an intention to learn how to enjoy the snow. I have had pretty bad experiences with snow and wanted to learn how to appreciate being in it. When I was in Melbourne earlier this year, I got my first 2014 snow experience and had so much fun being caught in a freak snow storm. I was hoping Tahoe would solidify my new found appreciation.

We drove almost 10 hours from San Diego through some pretty diverse terrain. I had never seen the Eastern Sierras and enjoyed seeing the other side of the mountains I grew up looking at and visiting. After leaving San Diego, a rain storm swept through as quickly as it started and within and hour, we were driving through a desert sand storm. When the mountains started to take over our view, I really started getting excited. We watched snow falling over the tops of the mountains while we remained dry below. Snow started falling and accumulating on the road as we passed rivers and climbed higher and higher. 

Once we arrived to Tahoe, the weather was cold, but there wasn't any snow to be seen. The next day brought beautiful sunny weather and the only snow we could see was on the very tops of the mountains far away. The hotel where we stayed was near a ski resort and we kept seeing "snow surfers" dressed up in their gear carrying skis and snowboards. I wondered where they were finding snow. 

We found a place with an outdoor fire pit and live music and sat near a couple guys who had just come down the mountain from snowboarding. They informed us that the snow was man made but that the next day promised to bring real snow. We chatted and ended up talking by the fire until late with a few other people sharing stories and travel tales. I love how sitting around a fire brings out the storyteller in some people.

The next day we drove up the mountain and saw the valley covered in fog and snow began to fall. The scene was beautiful. I am so used to sunny locations and although I was a couple of hours from where I grew up, I felt like I was in another world. The rest of the day, snow fell steadily and we found another cozy fire pit to stay warm by and met up with our new found friends from the night before. There were a few bands that played live music and the evening was spent in friendship and music. 

This year continues to fill my heart with gratitude with each new adventure. Deciding to live and travel with intention has proven fruitful and I am so excited to see where life continues to take me. I have worked through so much discomfort and have fully embraced a new level of comfort this year. By doing things that are hard for me, I have grown and finally authenticated the brave part of my soul.

New Adventures and Horizons

                       

I didn't travel on an airplane last month and that's the first time I can say that in a very long time. It was strange not to feel the undeniable urge of wanderlust...the same urge that has captivated my heart for years. I am changing, yet my sense of wonder remains in tact. I am learning to be home and feel myself blooming where I am planted, my roots reaching deeper with each day.

I have the above saying at my writing desk; a gift from my sister. She gave it to me on my recent trip to her home. I keep this up as a reminder that I am on a "new" adventure. When I decided to put the brakes on travel for the time being, I was afraid that I would lose my sense of adventure. But, I realize that this break is allowing me to harness the knowledge and wisdom I will need for the next phase of my life.

Last month, I took a class and started working on a project that will someday put me in a new career. I felt the sweet tinge of anxiety from starting something new and expanding my mind. Taking a class was intense and reminded me how much there is to learn. I thrive in diving into the unknown. I've entered both of my previous careers as a novice and had fun climbing as far as I could go. This time, there will not be a corporate ladder to climb and that feels right in so many ways. 

"Now you must go from Success to Significance" my elderly seatmate encouraged me on my trip to Bali this year. I was meant to sit next to him. His words really moved me and sent my soul on a journey to find just what that means for me. Part of this journey led me right back to my own front door and inward to my soul. In short, I have been on a soul searching journey all year and I think significance is on the horizon. I am excited to be trekking on this new path and can't wait for everything to unfold.

Time Travel in a Train

                        

I traveled from Olympia to Salem by train yesterday and was excited to see parts of the Pacific Northwest with a new perspective. I arrived to the station in time to catch the train only to find out the train was running 40 minutes late. I sat in the sun and inside the station watching people, wondering where they were headed. I saw people bidding farewell and others anxious to move on. 

A sheriff appeared from behind a door calling out a name. No one looked up. She approached a young girl sitting alone and asked for identification. The girl matched the description of a runaway and a list of questions began to be asked. Apparently it was a mistaken identity, but for a moment the air was filled with tension. The Sheriff retreated back behind the door and the young girl went back to her phone to texting.

When I was sitting in the sun, an old man in a volunteer's vest came out to chat with me. 

"I'm surprised you're the only one out here sitting in the sun." He said as he raised his face towards the sun's warmth. "This is much better than our typical weather of clouds and rain". He went over to tinker with the gate and returned to let me know that the train wouldn't be much longer. I appreciated the information and watched him change the arrival time tile on the outside sign.

The train approached with a squeal and we boarded quickly. The ride was lovely passing woods and meadows. It was quite a contrast from the browns in California. Pine trees, rivers and Mount Rainier were the scenery as we traveled through Washington. I went to the dining car and ordered a beer, Black Butte Porter, and settled in my seat to write and enjoy the views.

Passing all the small towns in Washington was interesting. Football practices, truck stops,  school buses and Main Street America passed me by. It was a lovely picture. Train travel gives a perspective that driving doesn't allow. While on a train, one can stare out the window and enjoy the views that don't usually parallel a major highway.

My favorite part of the trip was watching the sunset through Portland and northern Oregon. The sun created silhouettes out of the evergreens, framing the sun with a jagged edge. There was smoke from a fire nearby creating a haze of pinks and oranges. The sky was lit up and glowing vibrantly. The train rode into the sunset which cast a ruddy glow onto into the train.

The ride ended in Salem where my sweet friend was waiting to pick me up. The station in Salem is quaint just like I imagined a train station would be. There was a certain nostalgia about the trip. Riding old school, quaint train stations and passing towns that I had never heard of before gave me a view into Americana. I felt like I was in a different time where things moved slower and people connected differently. For a few hours, the train allowed me to be completely present while providing a glimpse into the past. 

  

Patriotic Me

                          

I haven't done much travel in America. In fact, there are very common places and cities I have never seen. Travel is definitely one of my passions and perhaps I put all these American places on the back burner since I figured they would always be there. Therefore, I ventured off for places further away and collected passport stamps as a hobby. This was also true in college when I declared History as my major and signed up for all the classes covering foreign lands and distant conflicts. I later declared my minor as American Studies but never really went to any of the places I learned about.

But, this year, I am venturing off into America and seeing things that are incredible and even feeling a little patriot. My most recent trip was to Washington DC and I loved every moment of my visit. I arrived late one evening and was surprised by the intense heat and humidity. Grateful for my friend's air conditioning, I fell asleep hopeful for a weekend full of exploration.

The first place on my list to visit was the United States Holocaust Museum. I knew I would spend a lot of time there, so I decided to go while my friend was at work. The museum is not for the faint of heart, but tells such an important story. I spent so much time in each exhibit and found myself very choked up at the end walking through a hall of victim's pictures; I needed to sit down it was so overwhelming. There are many places to sit and reflect and a hall of remembrance where I lit a candle and watched an older woman, clearly upset, sit on a bench and weep. The most amazing part were the stories of survivors who spoke of the pain they went through but I did not catch a glimpse of bitterness or resentment. It is such a beautiful picture of resilience.

I was told by DC natives that after the Holocaust museum, I had to do something happy. So, I went outside and walked around the Smithsonian and up to the Washington Monument then followed the path to the World War II memorial, Vietnam Memorial and finally the Lincoln Memorial. I loved the ease of walking around and being able to see so much history. I sat on the steps of the Lincoln memorial and contemplated my day and offered gratitude for the opportunity to visit such a cool city and to my grandparents for coming to America so we could have such amazing freedoms. I don't think I really appreciated their story until that moment.

That night, we went to a Washington Nationals game and watched America's pastime wearing red, white and blue and rooted for the home team. I love visiting ballparks and this stadium was so much fun and they have great fans. It was such a fun experience and a really good game including home runs, extra innings and presidential puppets. 

The next day, we headed to see a couple more museums and monuments. We stopped in the National Gallery of Art and I geeked out over Degas and the Dutch paintings. But the highlight of the day was the Library of Congress. I have forever loved books and this was heavenly for me. The building is amazing and I was envious of the researchers sitting below at reading desks among the glorious collection of books. 

That night, we celebrated our friendship and birthdays, which are a month apart. We found a lovely wine bar with delicious food. It was so nice to sit for a while and talk to a friend who has become so dear to me. I miss having her in the same city as me, but am so happy that she lives in a great city where I can visit. We ended the evening dancing the night away accompanied by lots of laughter.

On my final day, we headed out for a late brunch and walk around the monuments on the Tidal Basin. The weather was cooler and there was a lovely breeze. I loved the Jefferson and FDR monuments. They each contributed so much as presidents and I think the monuments were beautiful and great tributes to these men. There are so many monuments and museums in Washington DC, I definitely need to return to see everything else. This trip has changed my view on American travel and I am excited to explore more domestically. I am grateful for the opportunity to see all the history and renew my sense of patriotism.