On Turning 35: Vibrant Roots with Expansive Branches

                                  

This past year I did something that I didn't realize I was ready to do; I grew roots. It was one of the most significant periods of growth in my life. I spent my 34th year in reflection, exploration, creativity and development. There were release of things I had no idea I was still holding onto which created immense room for expansion. In this new space, I found myself learning to harness my intuition and doing one of the most brave and creative things I have ever done; starting a business.

I appreciate the quiet and still days at home where I could feel my roots getting deeper and stronger. In the stillness, my soul embraced faith, hope and grace; such a perfect word for this year. I learned what it felt like to receive and give this beautiful gift. This is where love thrives and blossoms in ways unimaginable. It is truly a place of awe and wonder. My heart has learned the art of healthy detachment and also unconditional love. 

I think one of the most significant shifts has been from passion to vibrancy. For years I felt that the fire inside me was passionate. It was an intense, unstable flame, searching for fuel to burn and grow. It fed everything I came in contact with. But now, I see this fire inside as a steady, vibrant light. It radiates and does not destroy. I learned to harness the passionate flame to create a vibrancy inside. 

This was a year of steady growth and reaching for the sky from a place of expansion. There were no grand trips to faraway lands, but I think the trip inward made this year much more significant. I am ready to see what 35 has in store. I can't imagine the treasures and secrets it holds. I am excited and so very grateful.

On Leaving my Job...

                       

Bravery has been a recurring theme for me this year. The word was bestowed upon me in Costa Rica by my Intuitive Painting instructor and it has really resonated with my experiences thus far. I recently exercised my bravery when I resigned from my job. I have been contemplating this for a while now and never felt quite ready.

I knew I wanted to move on but feared what would happen. Work has been my security for years. Wine has been a passion of mine for years and it turned into numbers and conversions. The art was still there, but buried under sales goals and science. I surprised myself the first time I spoke to a client about chemical reactions in wine. I laughed at myself when I practiced saying the technical names of chemical compounds so I wouldn't mess up in a meeting. And then, all of a sudden, it became second nature and I found myself playing with wine. It was fun, messy and rewarding. I'm going to miss that the most. The magic enchanted me.

But, my soul has been urging me to move on. I'm not quite sure where I am headed, but I am not worried, my hope is strong. I know that travel is on the horizon and that is when I am at my best. I am going away for a month to sort some of this out and just relax. It's surprising how much space a job takes up in the brain. It will be strange at first to taste a wine without thinking about it technically. Most important, I will have time to travel to places I crave and stay home and solidify the life I have been creating. This scares and excites me at the same time. I am ready to venture into the unknown.

Farewell magical, technical and tasty wine industry. Thank you for expanding my brain farther than I thought possible.

A Good Year

I had a really good 32nd year. I was looking back at this past year and counted my blessings which outweighed the sorrows.

Last year, I was in Bali with a broken heart trying to figure out new plan and a direction. I wrote down 5 intentions at a coffee shop in a small Balinese town and have referred to them many times over the past year.

1) Positivity every day
2) Letting go of the past
3) Hope
4) Wisdom to decipher what's next
5) Open heart and mind

These intentions have been the foundation for the past year. These 5 things are hard to achieve from where I was last year. But, with practice, prayer and encouragement from loved ones, I get closer every day. I don't think that the blessings would have been recognized without this list. I worked hard on them and although there have been struggles and tears, joy and peace continue to take their place.

My dear friend, Katy confidently proclaimed "2013 is your year, friend!" I think she is right. But then again, any year is what I decide to make of it. And this year, focusing on the blessings is my intention. I learned this a long time ago when my grandma had me sing "Count your blessings" to her in Spanish. I may have not known what I was actually singing, but I think the message is finally sinking in.