Hopeful Homecoming

                               

I returned to San Diego very late one night due to delays from a hurricane approaching Hawaii where I had a 4 hour layover. The Honolulu airport was a flurry of activity with people trying to get off the island before the hurricane hit. It took a long time to get through customs and then again through security, but luckily there were delays to help get my bag to the right place and find my gate. I stopped for a beer and some lunch and listened as the bartender proclaimed "We fly through storms, there shouldn't be any worries about flights." I felt reassured that I would get home.

My flight landed only 20 minutes late and my dear friend, Katy was there to pick me up. I waited and waited at baggage claim for my suitcase but it clearly did not make it. A woman came up to me and asked if I had flown from Australia because that was the only bag that didn't make the flight. I was so tired after travelling for 24 hours that I got a little choked up and upset. I asked when my bag would make it and they gave me a confidant "I don't know". I filled the claim form out and slumped into Katy's car with apologies for the delay. She was sweet about it and even had bananas and granola bars for me to eat in the morning.

The next afternoon, my bag arrived along with an epic case of jet lag. My body was sure that 4am was bedtime for most of the week. I tried sleeping pills, sleepy tea, yoga, meditation and the lay there until you fall asleep approach. My body just needed time. I spent 4 weeks in a time zone that is 15 hours ahead and finished in one 17 hours ahead. I clearly needed to be patient. It took a full week, but I am now able to fall asleep at a normal time. I forgot how hard it is to recover when flying East. 

Lost baggage and jet lag aside, I am so grateful to be home and reconnect with my friends who have been so wonderful. I went on a harbor cruise and saw San Diego from the bay while enjoying laughter and friendship. Yesterday, I met up with an old friend that I haven't seen in 6 years. She just recently moved back to San Diego and it was almost like that much time didn't pass. It was great to reconnect and learn about each other's lives and transformations. And today, I was able to practice oceanfront yoga after my friend dropped off her beach cruiser for me. It was a lovely morning totally unplanned and absolutely perfect. Later, another friend came over and brought me flowers to cheer me up and we had dinner together.

I am feeling so much gratitude for the people in my life and the place I live. There is a renewed sense of joy that has come over me, especially after learning through so much discomfort on my trip. Today I did a meditation that went over 2 kinds of hope. There is the anxious hope of things to come and then an open and active hope tied to aspirations. The second is expansive and all encompassing. I feel this type of hope. I am open to whatever may come and acknowledge the closed doors and chapters as hopeful signs of better things to come.

Feeling at Home Down Under

                        

I traveled to freezing, cold Melbourne after a month in balmy Bali. My dear friend, Becky has lived here since 2008 when she came to visit the man she fell in love with and never returned to the States. This is my third trip to visit her. We figured out that we have been friends for 21 years, so we are trying to celebrate the longevity of our friendship as well as the birth of her son, Fox. 

The change in weather has been quite the adjustment, but since I learned to embrace the rain in Bali, the cold is just another thing to embrance. In fact, on my first day here, we drove up to the snow. I know I manifested this outing since I consciously voiced that I wanted to learn to be okay in the snow. My memories from that day include numb fingers and toes, a cold nose and lots of laughter and awe. We stopped by a waterfall to look at the pretty view and the snow started falling softly and steadily. The combination of waterfalls rushing in the snow made me forget any discomfort I may have been feeling. 

This leg of my journey is about reconnecting and meeting a baby that was wanted and dreamed of for so long. It is lovely to go from a journey of growth to a place of comfort. Becky is like family to me and meeting her son has been quite profound. He is the ultimate successful manifestation. He is definitely a baby that has been wanted and loved way before his arrival. I am blessed to have the opportunity to meet him. 

The ability to feel at home in different parts of the world has been a great lesson for me. Staying in Bali for a month and finding a routine was difficult at first, but became second nature after a while. Then, returning to Australia and being able to jump right back into a long time friendship has been refreshing and comfortable. Although I am excited to return home later this week, I am grateful that home is truly in my heart and follows me around the world. 

What Bali Taught Me

                         

I came to Bali a month ago ready to embark on a spiritual journey and figure out my next steps in life. I thought a month in a spiritual place would bring peace, enlightenment and immense joy. Bali offered everything I asked for, but there were lessons I was not prepared to encounter on this journey and I am leaving Bali with some bumps and bruises but a smile on my face. 

I didn't know that spiritual journeys included tears and heartache. As I look back, I can see that the pain and discomfort was part of the growth and change. I had to let things go that I didn't know I was holding onto and deal with new hardships that arrived almost as soon as I began this journey. I think the timing was perfect as I was in a place where I could focus on growth and healing. 

There were four very distinct lessons I learned here...

1) Stillness: Staying in a small town among rice fields provided ample time to be still. I found meditation and prayer came much easier without the distractions I can provide myself at home. In stillness, I was able to listen to intuition and seek direction and discernment. I found comfort in the silence and solitude. My mind was able to shut down and peace began to bud.

2) Grace: This journey showed me that lovely things can blossom out of pain and hurt. The water lily is a symbol for grace and it grows out of the mud into a beautiful bloom. Without grace, I would drown in the messes and mistakes I have made. Grace is proof that the universe has greater plans for me and provides lessons and strength just when I need them. That thought alone blows my mind and fills me with gratitude.

3) Offering: I watched women place offerings in reverence every day on alters all over town. They spend time creating beautiful, colorful gifts daily. This encouraged me to offer something each day to show my gratitude and intention. I am beginning each day with an intention and offering gratitude and seeing a difference in my outlook. This practice is my offering.

4) Bravery: This is a theme that keeps coming up for me this year. In Bali, I faced my greatest fear time and again and now I barely flinch when I see rodents. I had to bargain and negotiate with a language barrier often and even demand our passage on a boat, which we had to ride on top of at full speed. I forged paths, dealt with scary truths and let go. Bravery frees my mind from fears I held onto and creates a new spaciousness for courage.

I am grateful to have had this experience, even with all the discomforts. I was told that in order to grow, one must experience pain followed by joy. I appreciate the patience and friendship Penny provided as I went through some difficult transitions. Our friendship is stronger and now we have even more epic memories to share.

My hope is to return home next week equipped with the lessons I learned here and practice them daily. Intentions are powerful and it is amazing what they can manifest. My journey in Bali is proof that by setting an intention, results follow, even if they don't take the planned path. Let go, be fluid, ask for guidance and the answers will appear.

To Market, To Market...

                            

In the middle of the hustle and bustle of Ubud, the central market sits with many vendors ready to sell their wares and strike a deal. We ventured downtown to pick up some clothing and jewelry and were invited to look at every stall we passed. I remembered from my trip a couple years ago to not buy right off the street, but to go into the market a little bit for the best bargaining power. I also remembered that if you were the first sale of the day, they rubbed your money on their goods for good luck.

We stopped at our first stall to pick up some flowy Bali pants that I had seen all over the city and the guy automatically gave me a price higher than prices I had seen in clothing stores. I countered with a price much lower and we went back and forth until we found a happy medium. It was exhilarating. Since my background is in sales, I love the art of negotiation. It is fun for me. Penny on the other hand, finds it stressful. So, before we set off to the market, I asked her what she wanted to buy and the prices she expected to pay so I could do the bargaining. 

At a couple places we bought from, they rubbed our money on their merchandise. It was already 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I thought how disheartening it must be to wait that long to make some money in the vast market. One woman had not sold anything that day and followed Penny whispering in her ear. I stopped to look at the jewelry and she yelled after us as we walked away "It's cheap, I give you good price. 3 for 1. Please! I need good luck." 

We found ourselves deeper in the market than we had ever been and people offered sarongs, pants, jewelry and art for just about free. I realized that they probably never see quite as many shoppers as the people on the way in. We were just trying to find our way out of the maze and ended up walking back into the whispering lady. I made a quick turn and luckily we found the staircase down to exit the market. 

It is funny to me that I enjoyed this experience so much. I can't stand shopping. Malls feel like a trap to me. Perhaps it was the negotiation. Maybe the layout and culture. Most likely it was the lack of advertisements and the certain energy of a street market.  I don't think this sales model would work well back home. But, just for a moment, I found myself having fun while shopping. 

Bali Dogs: Heartbreak and Hope in Paradise

                                  

One of the most vivid images for me of Bali are the dogs that wander the street. They walk around with mange, broken limbs and malnourishment. There are a few lucky dogs who live in homes and are well taken care of. In the place I am staying, there are about six pups who live on the property. I am in dog heaven. They visit us in the morning and I get to love on puppies. However, when I am walking around, my heart breaks for the street dogs. I remember my first day walking around the neighborhood and seeing a dog with terrible mange; his tail was about to fall off. I wondered if there was something I could do to help.

This led me to a bunch of research online were I found out about the native "Bali dog" and the history of the very old breed, Kintamani. These pups are beautiful with furry curved tails and pointed ears. There is a Kintamani puppy that lives here and he is my favorite visitor. My research also revealed that I could not actually work with the dogs without an anti-rabies vaccine, which I don't have. But there are many organizations that are working on feeding, sterilization and rehibilitation of dogs and other animals on Bali.

One of the characteristics of these dogs is their fierce independance. These dogs are scavenger survivors. They aren't aggressive, but will bark with what seems to be a helpless hopelessness. The other night, we were out very late. The entire town was mostly shut down and the only thing roaming around other than us were many dogs. They just roamed aimlessly ignoring us and howling every so often. One dog followed us for a while and then moved beside us eventually leading us. I don't know how this dog knew where we were staying, but it layed down at the top of our driveway as if to say "okay, you're home safe now." I felt so much affection for this sweet doggie protector while we walked home in the dark. 

Although I wish I received the vaccination so I could physically help out and be close to the dogs, I am grateful to know there are organizations that help them out...

I Love Bali Dogs

Bali Street Dogs Fund

Bali Animal Welfare Association

Leaving Gili: The Day I Learned to Let it Be

                                       

We left Gili Air in an adventurous way. Departure tickets were bought a day early to ensure seats on a boat. When we arrived at the harbor, it was clear that all boats were over booked, 150 tickets sold for 30 seats to be exact. I went up to the counter and a man took my ticket and started walking away. I followed him along with a few others who seemed to have given him their tickets as well. 

One of the travelers was on the phone as he walked with us explaining a tragic loss of friends. He needed to get off the island to get home to attend a funeral. There were a couple gals needing to get back to catch a flight and they were very insistent that they get on the boat. Every time I tried to get information, the man just walked away. I made sure to follow since he held our tickets off the island.

We returned to the harbor office where fellow travelers sat waiting. Time was nearing our scheduled departure and I still had not heard how we were getting off the island. It was as Gili Air was acting like a jilted lover tugging onto our coattails as we walked away. 

The gals with the flight to catch were yelling at the staff and I realized that I would have done the same thing only a year ago. I realized how demanding I was and how forceful it sounded. I was surprised that I did not feel the need to yell or panic. There was a calm that was new to me and I just asked what was going on and he responded to my calm. He asked if we could take the 3 o'clock boat, but my gut told me that boat was also over booked and I told him I preferred to leave at noon as we originally paid for. He got on the phone once again with my ticket in clear view.

In the meantime, I asked the fellow traveler what had happened to his friends. He told me that his friends were on a plane from Amsterdam to Bali and the plane was shot down. He lost 12 friends in one night. Immediately, the boat ride issue was minuscule. He explained how his football team was coming out to Gili to visit him and that he held a beach memorial for the dead until 5am that morning. He explained that he was still in shock and didn't know how to process the news, but was trying to be strong since he had a lot of travel ahead of him.

He assured me that the GIli way was to overbook the boats and not communicate, but that another boat is always found. The man with my ticket was still on the phone, so I went to sit next to Penny to explain what was going on. I saw the boat that we paid to get on enter the harbor and I got up and told the man my boat arrived and that I wanted my ticket back. He handed another person my ticket who then created another ticket and told me to go down to the harbor and speak to the captain of the boat to try to get us on the boat.

When we got to the harbor, one of the crew members was yelling "No room!!!" as people started climbing aboard. I walked over to the man I figured was captain like and showed him my ticket and he told me there was no room. I responded "We must get on this boat" and he responded "Ok, but you sit on top."

I turned to Penny and told her to follow me onto the boat and how we had to sit on top. We climbed on and were told to sit on top of the cargo bags. I was immediately grateful that we did not bring luggage and settled in hoping not to get sick.

The boat started moving and we started laughing at the fact that we made it on the boat and we were sitting on top of the cargo like stowaways. The boat stopped at Lombok first and we heard the chanting from mosques while we waited to head out. I am not sure if people got on or off. We applied sunscreen for our journey in the sun while we waited.

There were about 15 of us on top of the boat including the gals with the plane to catch and man who lost his friends. He began singing "Let it Be" with his arms outstretched and we all joined in after a bit. We sang together as we sped across the Java Sea towards Bali. The boat came to a dead stop in the middle of nowhere while we were singing and we quickly changed our tune to "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and the boat started back up after a couple minutes. 

One of the crew members offered us massages, which added to the humor of the entire situation. He was the one yelling "No Room!" and now he was trying to make our journey more comfortable. One of the gals took him up on his offer after I asked him to quit rubbing my neck. I am so happy I did because he asked her to take her shirt off so he could "properly" massage her. I inched farther away from him and took in the lovely scenery that sitting below did not offer.

When we arrived back on Bali, the dock had many people holding up signs directing us to our proper shuttles. I found our driver and he told us to head to the office. Not knowing where the office was, I asked someone who led us to the row of offices and shuttle vans. We used the toilet which cost money and ended up being a squat pot with a bucket of water for flushing and half a door for privacy. I downed a Bintang after to calm my nerves and forget the toilet situation and boarded our van.

We paid for the van to drive us back to our place in Ubud, but apparently he was too tired or didn't want to sit in the horrific traffic and dropped us off in the middle of the city at a grocery store. Luckily, Penny and I knew where we were and began the 3 mile walk home. We cracked up at the hilarious events of the day as we dodged motor bikes, trucks and stray dogs. 

All of a sudden the reason we were not driven home revealed itself. I had been looking for 2 weeks for a certain item to buy my friend who is house-sitting for me. I went into several stores and finding similar items, but not the right ones. And then, on the street we were dropped off on, in a window, I saw them. I picked out the amount I wanted and I was ready to negotiate the price and she quoted exactly what I told Penny I wanted to pay a couple days earlier. It was a manifestation for sure. I was giddy for the rest of the trek home happy to have found her gift.

This adventure was further proof that being open and allowing things to flow as they intend to delivers joy. I could have had anxiety and stress but instead chose to stay open and let go. We returned to rain and I feel like the ride on top provided me one more chance to get my fill of sunshine and I definitely consider it a gift from the universe. I learned so much about myself that day and I am so happy that everything transpired the way it did.