Sunday, September 15, 2013

Unlikely Return

I left Seattle almost 5 years ago and never thought I would return. I quit my job, fell in love and moved all the way up the Western seaboard to begin a new life. We didn't work, we lived off our savings, explored the Pacific Northwest and attempted a relationship. It sounded like a really good idea, romantic really, but I was not prepared for it all. Seattle's sun hid after a month and the relationship's foundation wasn't very solid. The snow fell, hearts were broken, I sold everything that didn't fit into my car and left the Emerald City in tears. There was no way I ever wanted to return.

This past week, duty called and I found myself driving into the city with a colleague to work for a couple days. The sun was shining brightly, it was warm and unexpectedly I was okay. I was actually worried about returning, but as the day progressed, I became happy to be in Seattle. All of my good memories returned and I felt complete gratitude that I was able to live there and explore for a while. I reflected on how blessed I was to have a city as my playground and realized that I had created a very good sense of place there.

I guess that is what letting go/evolving feels like--joy and gratitude even when faced with bad memories. Now when I speak of Seattle, I need to replace my doomsday "snow and gloom" stories with the memory of love and exploration. I no longer need to refer to that move as my worst mistake, but as an amazing opportunity to be daring and carefree.

1 comment:

~nanashouse~ said...

I love you so much and celebrate your journey <3