Love Love Peace Forever



Smart Monkey



When a year ends, nostalgia can't help but rear its head and demand attention from the heart and mind. This past year brought many emotions, revelations, awe inspiring scenes and inner peace. I remember beginning my year, like so many others, with a list of things I wanted to change, create, accomplish and see. This list came out a few times for review and although I did not complete everything on my list, I did change, create, accomplish and see things that I could have never planned for.

When I began 2012, I felt isolated in the Central Coast, overworked, underpaid, tired, and full of so many more complaints. I didn't like how my heart and mind had been filled with such negative energy. However, I wanted a change and fast! So, I began the year thinking a job would change, a move would come, friends would be closer and perhaps even love. Oh how I was wrong. But that's okay.
 
What 2012 gave me was a broken heart, hard character building exercises, opened eyes and heart, a quieter mind and a calmer soul. This happened in the form of all of my plans being squashed, relinquishing control and allowing what is meant to be, be. WHAT A HARD LESSON. I cried lonely tears, felt my heart crack again and realizing that I had it mostly wrong. But this was the best thing that could have happened to me. My lonely sad tears have been replaced by tears of joy. My cracked heart is healing and opening up at a level I have never experienced before. And my ideals and plans-they are headed in a direction that excites me and is still a bit unknown...but I have faith its going to be AMAZING and I can't wait.

This year I am grateful for...
living by the ocean
abundant travel
healing relationships
family
close friends
lessons learned
faith and hope

My Great American Road Trip

 I took a road trip last week to deliver my car my to sister and her family. The trip began in California and ended in Alabama. I drove through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi to arrive at my destination. The trip was 2300 miles long and lasted 3 days. The sights, sounds and people were memorable and the journey alone gave me prime time to reflect, dream and plan. I am not sure if I will attempt a drive this long again anytime soon, but I am happy that I was able to experience this trip.

I had a few things on my list of must see and do and on the top of the list was the Grand Canyon...

This was my first visit to the Grand Canyon and it took my breath away. As I was driving towards the park, I came upon snow. I am not usually a fan of snow or anything cold, but this added to the enchantment. Upon arrival I exclaimed "Are you kidding me?!" when I saw the deep red canyon framed with bright white snow. The scene was surreal. Of all the times I have dreamt of visiting this park, I never expected to be so blown away by nature and yet nature always surprises me and leaves my heart overflowing with gratitude. This is one of those times when I cried tears of joy and thanked God for the journey life has taken me on this year. I felt like this scene was a gift.


That night, I stayed in Alburquerque. New Mexico is beautiful and I could sense the sacredness of the land. Even when I went to buy turquoise, the woman described the different types of turquoise and their meanings. Everything seemed to have symbolism attached to it. I quite liked the notion that everything is special.

The remainder of the trip took me through Texas where I stopped for Texas BBQ...YUMMY! In Oklahoma the road never seemed to end. Arkansas was pretty with the trees and Ozarks. I stayed in Little Rock on the second night and visited with my aunt and her husband the following morning. They took me to see the Bill Clinton Presidential Library and we had a Southern breakfast complete with grits.

On the final day, I crossed the Mississippi River, drove through Memphis and parts of Mississippi into Alabama and finally my sister's home. I arrived and was welcomed with hugs from my nephews. I think that is what made this trip worth it.

Full Circle to Sydney

The last time I came to Australia, I had spent the last of my savings and didn't have a direction in life. I wanted to taste travel before I found a job, after spending almost a year wandering post banking life. This time, I am here because of the job I found upon returning from Australia, over 3 years ago. Full circle is a good way of putting the thoughts that entered my mind as we flew into Sydney. 

I didn't visit Sydney last time, so the sight of the Opera House and Harbor bridge, gave my heart a flutter. I checked out geography books all the time as a kid and would pour over the pictures and various cultural and architectural facts each country's book offered me. I remember wanting so badly to someday see the Sydney Opera House. So, when I finally did, my heart was filled with gratitude. The blessings that I have received this year overwhelm me at times. This was definitely a "pinch me" day.

Speaking of blessings, I am so blessed to have amazing friends. Penny was able to join me on the Sydney portion of my trip. She is staying for the rest of the week as I move on to Adelaide. I remember the first time we travelled out of the country to Europe in 2006...we've come a long way learning how to travel together. Sydney is just another great chapter in our friendship.

Cocoon

 

It has been a month since I have returned home from Bali and I must say, my life was changed over there. I came home wanting to help those in need, clean up beaches and never use a plastic bag again. The trip also provided great persepctive into my work and personal life and showed me things that I absolutely needed to change/end.

I was unplugged for the most part over there. I didn't bring a phone or a computer and rarely knew what time it was. This freed my mind up so much and allowed me to discover things that I had been pushing aside in order to get by and what I thought was strive. Little did I know all of these things were going to come up, literally, on this trip.

When I returned home, I knew that change was on the horizon. I knew that the recent changes that I had experienced where still affecting me and that they would for some time. And that is what is happening still-change. My mindset is different. I am ready for the next thing. I realized that I have been working like an ant and living isolated in a place I am ready to leave. (have been ready to leave) I feel like I am wrestling out of my cocoon.

I am not sure what is next, but I am confident that this state of unrest is preparing my heart for it. I am open to whatever comes. My heart and mind are open like never before. Bali was a catalyst as well as blessing. I have faith and hope for the coming days, months, year...

Perspectives from Bali

~Peace and quiet have always been inside me...just hiding behind my inner chatter
~Letting go is hard to do, even on an exotic island
~Stress is a product of my outlook, its time to change my outlook
~Solitude is golden, but companionship is platinum
~Living simply leaves room for awe
~Walking is amazing exercise
~Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy (John Denver was a smart guy)
~Clean water should never be taken for granted

Island Dream

I have been wanting an island vacation for years. Every time I have tried to plan one, something would come up and it just never worked out. Vacation time is sacred to me. I work a lot and feel like I don't have enough time for vacation or accrued vacation time. But this year, an amazing opportunity came up and I feel so grateful to have this dream come true.

I am flying to Bali tonight. I can't wait. My dear friend, Penny rented a house over there and invited me to join her. At first, I was hesitant because the island in my dreams was always Tahiti or somewhere in the Caribbean. But then I thought, 'why not Bali?' So I purchased my plane ticket and can't believe this day is here.

I am looking forward to relaxing, laying in the sun, eating healthy and most of all quiet time. I have so much up in the air right now and I feel like I have lost my balance and direction completely. I cant think of a better way to find some balance than to be disconnected for some time. This will be the first trip I have taken without a plan when I arrive. This excites my adventurous side and I can't wait.